You know something that really sucks, something that we all deal with in varying forms, yet serves little purpose? You guessed it, anxiety.
Now, don’t get me wrong, anxiety does have a historical purpose, I get that. We needed anxiety to evolve- in a primitive sense, if you never worried about “hey, I might die today if that lion sees me”, then, you’d probably have died out of sheer obliviousness. Now, obviously that example does not really hold water in today’s society, as we don’t really have to worry about an everyday survival type of anxiety. But, even in the modern age (Strokes reference) we have to worry. It’s a function built into us, and we can’t just avoid anxiety altogether. You will face it at some point. Some of it is warranted and really does help you out. You probably would never ace a test if you didn’t have an anxious feeling telling you that you needed to study to perform. Or, you’d probably get into a lot of arguments (and some fist fights) if you didn’t worry about the outcome of what you say. But, for the most part, once you’ve learned, you’ve learned- and anxiety can then become excessive, and at times serve no real purpose. For the sake of this post, I’m going to be talking mostly about social anxiety. Some of the most pointless anxiety, I might add.
Social norms are important in our world, or at least we make them out to be. We all want to fit in, we all curb our thoughts and words according to who’s listening. For the most part, social anxiety is a good indicator that you care, and people like when others care about them. Duh.
But, so much of social anxiety is just flat out pointless. I personally have struggled with social anxiety for all of my life. In high school, I’d worry endlessly about the speech I had in a week. I’d never approach a person in class, I was worried I’d come off as awkward and they probably don’t wanna talk anyway. There’s no reason for all of this “meta-cognitive” worry- this worry about things that could happen if you did something. Worrying about worrying. A bit of social anxiety is okay, it keeps you sane to the people listening, and from being obnoxious- some people really don’t wanna talk. However, I find that social anxiety is something that often times just is serving no purpose, and needs to be eliminated. I see it that way. I want to eradicate it for good, that’s my goal.
Not only is social anxiety often pointless, but what’s worse, is that it is one of the single biggest hinderances. It hinders and weighs you down. How many times have you thought about the things you could have said if you weren’t so nervous? Maybe you don’t think that, because you already say what you want, but if you’re like me and have been weighed down by the burden of being socially anxious, you know exactly what I’m referring to. I can’t tell you the amount of wrong first impressions I’ve made because I was anxious, how many awkward conversations I’ve uttered because I was nervous, or flat out how many people I’ve ruled out of my life because I wasn’t being myself. It sounds super depressing, but I know I’m not the only one who’s dealt with it, so I’m not feeling bad for myself. But there is another point for the complete elimination of anxiety: it holds you down for little to no reason.
Another thing I particularly hate about anxiety is the ‘awkward’ part of it. Why is someone awkward, or better yet what makes a conversation “awkward”? I’ll tell you my idea of what the cause of it is: not being yourself. I watched a video the other day, where it explained that no one is boring. And, I can’t agree more- nobody who’s lived a life is boring. Everyone has a story, and that in itself is exciting. You and I have equally interesting stories to tell if we really wanted to. I could tell you about my documentary I wrote, directed and edited, you could tell me about your 2 year relationship, or something else personal to you. But, when we decide to hold back on these topics, for fear of revealing ourselves and being rejected (aka, social anxiety in another form), we come off as boring because we don’t share what makes our life interesting. Why don’t we? I don’t know. Because we have this anxiety shit to deal with, and there’s no real purpose for it. So, you’re not boring.
And, you’re not awkward. I tend to refer to myself as an awkward person, but I’m truly not- I just am awkward when my social anxiety clouds my thoughts and makes speaking words and having conversation difficult. I forget that small talk is not nearly as entertaining as deep talk, and then I tend to anticipate too much, and before you know it, it’s gotten awkward. But, I’ve had days where I feel myself and I speak my mind- and then, like magic, I’m not awkward at all. I’m who I am, and I don’t feel uncomfortable. The change was that, for whatever reason, I wasn’t anxious that day- and it revealed my true self.
We all have that ‘true self’, and social anxiety or just generalized anxiety can morph that person without our conscience effort. So, fuck anxiety. Kill it, get rid of it.
I like to think I’ve come a long way from ‘high school level nervousness’. With the help of practice, medication, and experience, I don’t really feel the burden of social anxiety anymore. Sure, I still get nervous and anxious, and I always will have a degree of that, but I like to think for the most part that I’ve beaten it. Do I miss it? Hell no. Not one bit. It’s useless, social anxiety. I couldn’t be myself when it was really bad.
My advice to you, is to see it this way- get rid of anxiety. If you have it, make this a priority on your mental to-do list, if you have one (if you don’t, get one asap): eliminate anxiety. If you feel you can’t do it by conscious effort, or you’ve tried it and it hasn’t really helped all that much, let me offer some natural supplements that help- phenibut and L-Theanine. Both are 100 percent legal supplements that have worked wonders for me. If you’re interested, give them a look up- they’re cheap, natural, and totally legal. No guilt in using supplements if you have a problem, that’s what they’re there for. And, lastly, if you’re trying to obliterate anxiety for good, you still need to make effort. That’s how I see it- no matter what, keep trying it. Fight through the uncomfortable until it’s comfortable.
Anxiety is non-essential, cut it off for good.
Thanks for reading
Luca DeJesu, 11:31 PM