Thoughts on Introversion/Extraversion

Yes my site is still alive, and so am I. It’s been about a month since I posted on here, and that was in August-I only managed to write one post that entire month. And, as September is wrapping up, this is the first time I have decided to write. It’s not the most efficient way to gain a following, to put it nicely. But, for the fans of my website, the few of you, not to worry. I still intend on writing for this site for a while, and I am going to make a conscious effort to finish 2017 strong in terms of blog posts. So with that out of the way:

I’ve been really pretty busy for the past ~ month or so. And, in a very normal sense of the term. I have no new video projects, or art pieces to describe, as it’s not that I’ve been occupied with that sort of stuff, but the usual: work and school. I’ve been working close to 40 hours a week for almost two months or so now, because my job has been short staffed, and with my classes going on now, I don’t have as much free time as I did say at the beginning of the summer.

I kind of like it, to be completely honest. It keeps me active, I’m making money, I’m working towards my degree, I’m doing stuff that matters. On the flip side, though, is less time for creative outlets such as my website.

One thing I did in some free time this weekend, however, is revisit the Myers-Briggs Personality test. You know, the one that everyone knows about, and the same one I took and wrote about in a post at the start of the year. It’s really interesting stuff, and as I said before, it’s very accurate, at least for me.

I took it again, and got the same result: INFP. The dreamer/mediator.

So, if anything, this just confirms again that I fall into this category. What was different, this time around? Well, I tried answering even more truthfully, if that makes sense. Not that I wasn’t trying to be 100 percent honest the first time I took it, but I spent more time on it and thought through my responses more. Imagining more scenarios. Thinking about past experiences in which the question came up. That sort of thing. And, as a result, only one thing came back different, and that was the part- the introversion part. First time around, I think it was something like I was 60 percent introverted as opposed to 40 percent extraverted. This time, it was a 90 percent introversion spread. Which, to be fair, I think is a bit more on the dot.

I’ve always been an introvert, I know it, my family knows it, and my friends know it. There is no debating it, unless something drastically changes, I am a typical introvert. I can’t really be much more introverted than I already am. I mention this because I feel like a lot of people (online, in person, etc) claim they are introverted when we know they are not. They may have some traits, they might mix up ‘introversion’ and ‘shyness’, that kind of thing.

I don’t know why some people are introverted and some are extraverted. It’s in genetics, in part, and the other part is experiences. Growing up, what you see and do can have a pretty big impact on how you are socially.

Nothing exciting happened to cue my general quietness, sorry to disappoint. I know you were probably hoping for some juicy backstory, but there isn’t one. I just always have been this way. Apparently, as a young kid, I would refuse to talk unless completely necessary- my mom said that when I wanted something, I would just point at it and grunt until I was like 5 years old. In grade school, I was always the shy kid, I always had a friend group but the ones I invited over were few and far between. Never wanted to walk in the middle of my family when we took walks. High school rolls around, I try the whole ‘popular thing’ with the basketball crew, and I always find myself skipping out on the dinners and being the odd one out. Present day, I accept my view more, and realize I need that alone time. Anyways.

Do you ever think that the population of extroverts is small, or at least dwindling? That might sound a bit dramatic.

Seriously, though. I feel like more often than not, people are more and more introverted, and that socially confident person in the group is becoming less and less common. It’s a gift to be naturally extraverted- to be born with a sense of wanting to socialize and doing it fairly well from the get go, I understand that. Practically everyone who wants to be more outgoing has to make a conscious effort, to a degree. Being outgoing is learned. However, the difference that I find separates someone from being categorized as a extrovert/introvert lies behind desire. 

Anyone can be more sociable and improve their people skills. It’s true- with some practice, maybe a little help from medication (I’m talking only if you have social anxiety or anxiety that is mentally holding you back-not recreational drug use), and some self motivation, you and anyone else can be a better talker. However, when you do this, you practice it, maybe multiple times, whether or not you enjoy it is what makes the distinction, in my eyes.

I have forced myself to go out countless times, to parties, friend-kickbacks, family gatherings, you name it. And, for some part, I always will do that- you can’t be a hermit and say no to everything, even if the majority of the time you want to stay in for the night.  And, not all nights do I wanna stay in- there are plenty of nights this summer that I was away from home with friends. In fact, even a majority I’d say. The catch? They were all my closest friends. The people I know best and have taken a long time to get to know, there is more desire for me because I feel way more relaxed and at home with them. My friend David mentioned something to this point the other night- he had some other friends over that he hadn’t seen in a while, and when they left he said he’d honestly felt a bit ‘relieved’- he felt more relaxed and calm with me since we’d been hanging out so much this summer. It was something he was used to, and because of that, it was less socially taxing to him. 

I’ve learned that I require a lot of motivation to go hangout with new people, if there is no close friend in the group. And, if I decide to stave off my natural inclination to ‘hang a different night’ with the group, I find myself pretty exhausted mentally when I get back.

A sort of formula could even be made up for this phenomenon. Using made up numbers, I’ll put together my quantitative definition of an introvert vs an extrovert:

An introvert is something like for every 1 hour spent with a relatively new group of friends, they need something like 2-3 hours alone to reflect or just be alone. On the opposite of this made up formula, an extrovert would take an hour with that same group and maybe need no alone time to reflect, in fact they might want more than an hour in the group in the first place. You get the point? Sure, you can go out and you can even be with friends often, but what can define you as quiet or reserved vs ‘life of the crowd’ is how much you desire to do it, and how much satisfaction you get from it.

So what do you think you are?

Thanks for reading

Luca DeJesu, 11:02 PM

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