Ego

Ego: A person’s sense of self esteem or self importance.

So, ego is a subjective thing, then. It’s a person’s own opinion on themselves, essentially. You probably already knew that, though, because the term ego is oft-used. “He has such a big ego” “That’s so egotistical”.

Acknowledge that everyone has an ego. Sort of weird to say, because we usually only associate an ego with a narcissistic type person; it’s a word that we usually use against people. You’re always told when your ego is showing, or maybe you notice that you have an eye for the self-obsessed. It’s a general rule that we all either follow or say we follow. That rule is that you’ve gotta keep that sense of self esteem in check: you can’t let it get too large, but you also must keep it above sea level, so to say.

It’s another one of those ‘fine lines’ that I notice. The other one I posted about was the fine line between caring what others think and becoming a people pleaser. Well, this line is at least thicker than that one- there is more ‘grey area’. But, who really determines where that grey area ends? Hint: no one.

It goes without saying that one person can’t determine how much you should value yourself. But, I notice issues with the whole thing. I’ve heard people tell me I need to ‘take a stand’ for myself, as if to say my ego was too low, yet I was completely content with how I was acting. On the flip side, I’ve gotten complaints from my guy friends for ‘posting a bunch of selfies on instagram’. Why complain? Well, it gives off the vibe that you think you’re all that, and boom– all of a sudden you could be labeled as egotistical. That’s the thing. You can’t avoid criticism in this department, no matter how humble or how full of pride you are. You’re gonna hear about it from someone at some point. 

My self evaluation has always been generally positive. What do you evaluate yourself on? What is the criteria to which you rate yourself?

What I’m personally talking about (when I say my “self evaluation”), is my sense of appearance, morality, and value to others. Three vague terms, but they all come to mind when I think of my ego.

I always have tried to keep my ego in check, as nearly everyone does. I think that for the most part, I’m successful. Back when I was younger, and through my early teen years, I never had to worry if I was getting too self-absorbed because I was focused on other things. Anxiety things. But, as of today, I don’t worry much about that, and I’ve returned to having more confidence. I really admire humble and selfless people, so I try to be like them. Often times, however, I fail. Whether it be because I post a picture trying to show off my face, or I ramble on about what I’ve done, or what I know, it all just comes back to a leak in my ego. It comes out every once in a while; but, like I said, everyone has an ego. And it can come out at any time. But, let me say this out front: I don’t ever believe I am better than another person. Not one. I might think I was good looking one day, or that I know about basketball or philosophy, but never does that lead me to thinking I’m above another person. Hence, the site motto.

Having a personal blog makes me confront my sense of personal importance often. It’s in the name of the job. So, I often think about this topic. What makes a person become egotistical? Why do some people have such low self esteem? Does anxiety rule out ego entirely?

So why does a person become egotistical? 

It’s a very complicated question, let me just go out any say that. Obviously. I think it stems from who they surround themselves with. In the end, it’s not you that keys yourself into the idea that “hey, I’m pretty important”. It is always other people. An example: Jimmy Butler is an NBA player for the Chicago Bulls. You may have heard his name before, as he is their star player nowadays. However, no one predicted he’d be this good- he was a second round pick, didn’t play much for his first two years in Chicago, and most of all, he is a rags-to-riches story. He was homeless for part of his growing up, and just being drafted was huge for him. He quickly became on of my favorite players: he was a hustler, he played hard, never got into any altercations or fights with other players, kept his mouth shut and let his game do the talking. Now? Well, he’s become a known quantity with trash talk the past year or so. He caused locker room disruption, spoke out against some of his teammates, and all round just does not give off that humble vibe that he once did. It would make sense, that one goes from zero to hero and it gets to their head. How does it get to their head? Well, more and more people tell Jimmy he’s worth top dollar, more and more he thinks about it, more and more he believes it. And, over time, he subconsciously tries to be that in real life. What other people think of you really does determine some of what you think about yourself.

How do you keep an ego in check? I don’t entirely know myself, as I constantly slip up and say something pretentious or get too far ahead of myself. But, I do try, because the last thing I wanna become is a ‘self proclaimed king’. No one likes a person who thinks they’re better than everyone else. And, I don’t like it either. I don’t wanna be seen that way, people don’t wanna see me that way, so I try constantly to keep my self value balanced. 

How, though? Well, personally, I practice the “do good and tell nobody” thing from time to time. If I do something I’m proud of, a favor or something like that, I try and bite my tongue. I don’t post on social media about how I gave a homeless man some money, how I helped a mouse in my backyard out from my cat, etc. It’s tempting to, because if you post about it you’re likely to receive support/likes/a cheap self esteem boost. But, practicing that gets easier and easier, and in the end, you’re developing integrity: the idea that you’d honestly do the same if no one was watching. Another thing I try and do is to not talk about myself so much. I do talk about myself at times, if I didn’t it’d be unhealthy. You’ve gotta care about yourself. However, I try and not to let myself drone on and on. No one likes a one sided conversation, and even though it’s more fun to blurb personal experiences, I think it’s important to sit back and listen as well. Finally, I never tell a person my raw thoughts on myself- good or bad. If I have a day where I think I look really good, I don’t ever state that. On the other hand, if I’m feeling like an idiot, I don’t spread that, as it only spreads negativity and can be a tactic to fish for compliments.

At the end of the day, I still fail at being humble from time to time. The ego is a complicated subject.

Thanks for reading

Luca DeJesu, 4:55 PM

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s