Time, Time, Time

As I woke up and talked with my Dad earlier today, the conversation moved slowly but surely to what it often does: my future. My Dad is always in the mood to talk about college plans, to give advice for tomorrow. It’s really admirable, that he makes effort to actively talk with me about these things, because at times I forget to acknowledge them. Acknowledging the future is always important, especially when things are set to change.

For me, I’m gearing up to move out within the next semester or maybe next year. I’m finishing up what degree I enrolled in community college for. The two year degree was aiming to save money, and more importantly, give me a better idea and way to figure it out.

By ‘figure it out’, I’m talking about this whole career path thing. Going to college is something I want to do, but in all honesty, it’s also something I need to do. At least I see it that way- having a degree will be beneficial in financial stability more-so than not having one. So I have to make decisions, go to college, and work towards that. What needs to be avoided here is wasting time.

You ever hear that you’re just ‘wasting time’ when doing something? Well, I’m sure at one point you have. You’re doing something that isn’t contributing to success, and you get told that. It seems a bit unfair, that you should always be doing something that moves you forward. Because, the truth is, you should spend your time the way you want to- at least that’s how I see it. But, in order to be ABLE to enjoy your time the way you want, you need money, you need a job for that, and the ultimate reason you do all of this is to better your life and others. In a nutshell, that’s the way I see the whole “do what’s worth doing” idea. That way, I don’t feel like I’m a slave to responsibility, rather I’m doing something I put value in.

Anyways, time has passed by really quickly the past ~2 years. 2 years ago was the time I was wearing a cap and gown and graduating high school. It does feel that the past year went by in the blink of an eye, and that this year is rapidly vanishing. It’s already March. Yet, when thinking back to senior year of high school, it feels almost like a different life. Doesn’t make sense to me- past two years, when reminiscing, feel like they flew by, yet the place I was in two years ago, seems like an eternity ago. Why is this?

I chalk it up to a formula of sorts. It goes like this. The amount that’s changed in your life since then determines how warped the perception of time since it happened is. For example, if two years ago you were at college studying for a degree, and today you’re halfway across the globe working a technical job with the degree, it will seem as if the 2 years was actually much longer ago. Since graduating, my life has been remarkably unremarkable. I mean, I still live in the same place, except with 80 percent of my HS friends gone. And, community college hasn’t offered much feeling of change or difference. So, when comparing my life today to the much different life of high school, it seems like forever ago. Yet, when looking at the past year-2 years, not much has changed, so the time seemingly slipped away.

By following that formula, then, you should do and try new things often to make time go by slower. 

I don’t know how accurate that theory I just laid out really is. I’ve been thinking about where I’ll be next year though, and wondering how I’ll adjust to wherever I am and whatever it is I’m doing.

It’ll be a big adjustment for sure, whether it’s Tucson, Arizona, Austin Texas, or somewhere else. I’ll be on my own for the first time, I’ll be working towards a degree much more important than this one at community college. I’ll likely be a bit afraid. I mean, after all, no kind of change on this scale has ever happened in my life. I’ve lived in the same neighborhood for all 20 years of my life, and soon the landscape will shift entirely.

In a less pessimistic tone, I’m a bit excited to see some change. It’s much needed and a bit overdue.

When looking for motivation, I often think about the future. And, I do this because it gives me the illusion that time will be there. It might be, it might not. Enjoying it is more important, but every once in a while I think about how it’s all warping around me. How memories seem ancient or fresh, and how tomorrow looks scary yet bright at the same time. It’s important to pay attention to time.

Thanks for reading,

Luca DeJesu, 5:09 PM

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