Ebb and Flow

I’ve battled myself off and on the past few days on whether I should delete my last post or not. It is very negative, and I know a lot of people don’t wanna read that.

On the other hand, it’s raw. It’s flowing emotion, straight from the mind, and unedited or unpolished. It’s how I felt that day. We all have a rough patch, it isn’t uncommon or unheard of. It’s part of the ebb and flow that exists in, well, life. Not to try and sound deep, but yeah. That’s what happens- you have a bad week, then maybe a mediocre one, maybe an amazing one. Or even maybe another sucky one, but the point is, when you’re down, you’ll get back up eventually.

Anyways, good news-the past few days have been pretty good. Now, today I had an exciting plan to visit Austin all day with my friend Kevin. We were gonna leave at 7am and arrive around 11am, stay until 9-10pm, and return around midnight. It was gonna be great; him and I had plans to check out UT and explore downtown. We both hadn’t been in a while. And both of us, like  I believe almost everyone should, are considering UT as a future school. When you live in Texas, it makes sense to look at the University of the state, as it’s usually a credited school. UT is a really good school, so getting a feel for the campus would obviously be beneficial, especially when I just submitted my application for fall yesterday.

But, alas, I went to bed at 11:30 pm, a new record for me, set my alarm for 6am, annnnnd promptly slept in until 8:30. My phone was blown up with calls, texts, and everything from Kevin- he was up in time and ready to go. I woke up a lot during the night, which isn’t uncommon for me, and so I was simply dead tired and don’t even remember shutting my alarm off. It’s all good though. Austin is 3.5 hours away, we will just go another day, maybe next week even. To make up for it, we hangout at 9am and checked out a new coffee shop, went to a mall, etc. So, it’s been another good day, despite my appetizing plan falling apart.

Not only that, but I’ve looked past a lot of the bad things lately. I usually aim to do this, and when I fail to do so is when I find myself having a bad day. Sometimes, you just gotta ignore it or move on from it. Over the weekend, there were some tough days at work. Nearly everyone at my job is sick right now- and a lot of people are calling in or not showing up for their shifts. So, as you can imagine, that leaves a heavier workload on those who do show up. That, and yesterday it seems almost every customer I served was rude. It was all capped off by a customer watching me make here drink, correcting me before I finished, and at last telling me “I did it wrong”. Okay, I thought, whatever. It’s a no foam, nonfat latte. I know how to make it. It’s one of the simplest drinks. She then says “It’s no good. Can you just, sighs audibly, just remake it? Yeah, just remake it.” It was all in the tone and the disgusted look on her face, like I just poured restroom cleaner in her latte. She then shoved her headphone back in her ear as I was trying to say “Of course, no problem.”

Did you catch something in that mini-story? Could you find anything positive there? Well, I did. Nearly all my coworkers are sick, but I’m not. This may not seem like any kind of achievement to many, but considering I’ve been working in close contact with people infected with strep throat, bronchitis, ear infections, and yet I still feel chipper and healthy, it’s pretty cool. I usually am the first to get sick, but I’ll credit dietary changes and water intake and other somewhat-random things as to why I’m healthy.

Even if there wasn’t anything positive to sort of mask the annoyances or unfortunate things, I could always just learn to stop caring about it. No, I don’t mean that I’ll stop caring about everything and become a cold hearted rock, I mean that I’ll just not give it attention if it doesn’t need it. I think my last post made me sound overdramatic and a bit like I was gonna start being meaner. No, never. I’m just going to get smarter and more efficient. All to have less bad days, and more good ones.

I used to abide by a saying, and that was simply no bad days. That is, a day is inherently a good day, because it exists and you have it. Now, clearly this statement can be rebutted quite easily. You can just point to an unlucky circumstance, a terrible day at school, a bad work shift, but even though that’s true, I don’t believe that is what the saying intends to say. It isn’t “nothing bad will ever happen to you, you make a day bad by your thoughts on it”, but rather “don’t blame the day, blame the event”. Blame the person who yelled at you because they were grumpy, blame the professor who gave you a D on an essay you spent hours upon hours on. I think this helps calm some stuff down. A day won’t just come and beat you down. A day is a continuous, somewhat rollercoaster of stuff that we experience. How you call a day depends on how many good things to how many bad things happen, usually. In that case, yeah, you can have a bad day, but thinking of it rather as a few bad times rather than a generalized bad day will make you feel you have much more chances for good than bad. If one bad thing happens to you each day, and it takes one bad thing for you to call the day a bad one, then you could have a bad day every day of your life. So, don’t blame the day, blame the stuff.

Or, blame your recliner and beat the shit out of it. Do whatever you want. Do black tar heroin. Do meth.  Do you.

Yeah that’s the note I’m gonna end this one on. Obviously, the drugs thing was a joke. Meth, heroin, -those are much too harsh and dangerous. Do something lighter, like horse tranquilizer or crack rocks. Alright I’m gonna stop there.

Thanks for reading

Luca DeJesu, 4:37 PM

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