Frustration

I hate being frustrated, but it can’t be avoided. It’s one of those unavoidable things in life that you wish you could just throw in a box and lock up. It sucks.

Certain things frustrate me more than others. I don’t know what frustrates the next person, and this variability causes confusion.

I’m frustrated today because of myself however. Some days I just don’t really feel like talking, at least for a few hours when I wake up. And a lot of people don’t understand that, and that frustrates me. The reason being is I don’t like upsetting people or being angry, and the more people try and talk to me when I’m in reclusive mode the more I get annoyed, the more I have to try to conceal it.

It really sucks when I wake up way later than I expect to, like today, and my entire family wants to talk, an old friend has stopped by and I slept through his door-knocking, or a few friends wanna hangout and I’m just simply not ready yet. Yes, I’m showering, gonna eat “breakfast” (3:30 pm) and I am not sick, but I just don’t feel like talking. And that sucks because no one seems to understand that.

If you don’t wanna talk, people assume you’re upset. That can be true, but for me personally, when I don’t wanna talk, it’s because I either am really tired or I just simply don’t wanna talk.

Here is the thing: I can’t be upset with other people for wanting to talk to me. I can only be mad at myself, because I am being a vessel of boring, lazy, quiet, and all-around bland emotion. It’s just who I am some days. The more I tell people I’m just not up to talking or chilling, the more I disappoint. And it loops back to the feeling of frustration.

Sorry this post was so negative and pessimistic. It’s just what is on my mind today, and I’ll work it out. There is one thing: there is no way I’m gonna let frustration boil over and get the best of me. Nope. Not gonna happen, never has, never will. Anyways, screw pessimism- find what frustrates you, and make it not frustrate you. Get better, get more adept at handling negative events/stimuli. The new year is right around the corner, which serves as fuel for me to get better about these things. Better at handling life.

Thanks for reading

Luca DeJesu, 4:45PM

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